Queen Aoibheall and her Midnight Court that sat round Carraig Liath
Was my place of peaceful residence where I had my fill of bia
Agus deochanna go leór of sweet Honeysuckle nectar
Plenty of hunting and tricking had I, and rolling in the dew
Frolicking in the moonlight and riding salmon in each stream
Playing tricks on silly humans, and I servant to the Queen.
To paper I’ll resort now as my memory is going
Of the beautious land I’m bound to ’til the end

So what you ask befell me to turn me into a crone
My silvery sheen long lost now and I a fairy hag
- at least I’m not an angel with a tree stuck up my arse!
The salmon started dying, acid rain burnt off my wings
The bulldozers laid waste the forts where I gambolled with my kin
Once pristine dew now bears the stench of slurry, corncrake no longer sings
In his stead the squeel of tyres appal the silence
Boiling tar singes its acrid statement on the tortured air
Swarms of metal boxes screech black scorch marks through my broken fields
The Honeysuckle’s poisoned with agent orange, roundup and paraquat
And you dare to sit and mock me after doing all of that!

This geas I put upon you: remember the old ways!
Or as sure as the sun is dying you too will share my fate
For the ice caps are melting and the polar bears will die
Forests, grasslands all are shrinking by dint of flood and fire
Turn back from your destructive ways for the signs are dire
Turn back I say! Turn back! Or this spell you’ll feel upon you:

A pox be upon the human race - a curse be upon all mortals
Who bring pain, suffering, disgrace, and destruction to the portals
of my kin and kind;
May the cream upon your dumplings turn sour as week-old sweat!
May your lovemaking be fumblings with Ozzy Osbourne’s favourite pet!
May mange alight upon your pubes and your eyeballs burst!
May the joy of life fall from you as you hobble to your dust!

So . . .
I lay my case before you Sirs in hope that you’ll forbear
From judging me the wickedest fairly in the whole of County Clare.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License.

Patrick Stack
As performed at Kilrush Golf Club by the Wicked Fairy herself on 19th December 2007 as part of the West Clare VTOS fundraiser for the Hospice